God has blessed me with many dear friends who have helped me grow closer to Christ. They hail from all sorts of places and times in my life. They come from all different backgrounds. They each have different quirks and strengths and personalities and stories and dreams. Some have blue hair, some are losing their hair, some are teachers, some are students, some are engineers, some are athletes, most love to dance, some are from the city, some have hearts that will always be country, some are married, some are single, some are embracing religious life, some are quiet, many are loud, some are serious, most love to laugh. And they all love God. Each one of these people, my brothers and sisters in Christ, has changed me, and they continue to do so.
These friends bring about this change in me because they move me into being more fully myself. They are able to do this because each and every one of them is Christ to me. I see Him in the way they live. I see Him in the way they love. So each encounter with these beautiful children of God is an encounter with Christ, because He so completely shines through them. As Thomas Merton said, “God is greatly magnified and marvelous in each one of His saints: differently in each individual one.” Each encounter with the face of Christ in others draws me more fully into God, and the closer I am to God, the more fully myself I become. I find myself in Him. And I find His face in the faces of those whom He places in my life. I don’t know how God came up with such a beautiful plan for knowing Him, but I am glad He did.
Now – God tends to move these people in and out of my life on His Divine Whim (typically without consulting me). This is not always easy to accept. God has always been moving people in and out of my life, but this past year has been marked by many transitions in my life, and with each shift, God places people in my life… and promptly removes them again.
Alas, being a creature of habit, I tend to bristle at change.
I believe I balk at these changes for two main reasons:
1) I love my brothers and sisters in Christ. I want to always continue to help them draw closer to God. I want to love and serve them in anyway I can. I want to be there for them, and help them when they need it most.
In this case, it seems as though I am actually struggling with the deeper issue of pride.
If I were more humble, I would more readily admit that God loves my loved ones infinitely more than I do. And He is absolutely capable of taking care of them. As Father Flanagan so aptly said, “…The work will continue, you see, whether I am there or not, because it is God’s work, not mine.” Or as a wise priest once said to me, “Sara, there is one Savior of the world, and you are not Him.”
2) I love my brothers and sisters in Christ. I love how they challenge me, love me, talk with me, cry with me, laugh with me, pray with me and fight alongside me. They are each so unique and I know there is no one else like each of them. They are irreplaceable. When He calls my brothers and sisters in Christ or I to serve Him in a new way, or a new place – I miss them. Lots.
In this case, it seems as though I am actually struggling with the deeper issue of trust.
If I trusted God more, I would more readily admit that God loves me infinitely more than His children do. And He is absolutely capable of taking care of me. He hasn’t let me down yet – He always brings the right people into my life at the right time.
Yet I still become anxious or restless or daunted by the changes His will brings about in my life.
But I am discovering:
There is a certain beauty in surrender. Sometimes, surrendering to God’s will includes surrendering blessings in my life by giving them back to their Creator. So I am learning a lot about letting go, and Lord knows I have much more to learn.
In letting go of those dearest to me – whether it be for a reason, a season, or for good – I have found consolation in a passage from the book of Wisdom. I know this passage is sometimes referred to when someone passes away – but it also seems to speak to me of the care that God has for all those dear to me – when God calls them to other labors, or other places. For though we may seem to labor separately – myself, my beautiful sisters, and my valiant brothers in Christ – we labor together for the Lord.
As the book of Wisdom reminds me, I need not worry about my loved ones, for “The souls of the righteous are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them.” What a beautiful promise. But I am still foolish at times, “They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction.” How silly of me. Giving back to God the blessings He has given to me is not an affliction. My loved ones are better off living and loving wherever God wills them to be; for there, “they are in peace” and “their hope, full of immortality.”
But it breaks my heart to see them fighting and hurting and suffering and sacrificing – for they all do, at one time or another. I want to fight and hurt and suffer and sacrifice alongside them, in a true expression of agape love. But this is not always possible. I can’t teleport myself to various parts of Texas, Arkansas, Kansas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Missouri, etc. on a whim. I can barely keep up with all that God has laid in my lap here. It is then I must remember: “Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed, because God tried them and found them worthy of himself. As gold in the furnace, he proved them, and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself.” God is taking care of my loved ones. And He is using them as beautiful instruments in His divine plan. He is using them, wherever they are, to set the world on fire with their love of neighbor and of God… “they shall shine and dart about as sparks through stubble… and the LORD shall be their King forever.” I only need to join my brothers and sisters in humbly trusting in God, for “Those who trust in him shall understand truth, and the faithful shall abide with him in love: Because grace and mercy are with his holy ones, and his care is with the elect.”
So I pray for my friends. I commit them to God’s care. I ask the Saints to pray for them. I plead with God to send his angels to watch over them and minister to them. I ask God to send His Holy Spirit among them – That they may each know His peace when they hurt, His strength when they need to fight, His forgiveness when they fall, His fortitude when they need to persevere, His joy when they are obedient to Him… and most of all, His unconditional love and His all-sufficient grace.
So I pray.
And I hope.
And I love those He gives me to love.
I do my best, and trust Him to do the rest – For His grace is sufficient for us.
He knows the plans He has for us. His will is for our good.
Therefore I know, as did Julian of Norwich, that “All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.”
May you too know this Truth, and trust in His will for you and those you love.
Grace and peace to you, dear brothers and sisters in Christ.
